Things that made you laugh today

[Pocket Dragon]

I got this idea from another forum I belong to. Post here anything funny you heard/saw/read etc so we can all laugh with you. I'll start.

A colleague at work asked me the other day, "How do dwarves wipe their arses?". Apologies to any dwarves on this forum, but it really did make me laugh!

[anortherncod]

That's a great idea, my miniature friend although nothing has made me laugh today I don't think...

[Antinous]

Good idea for a thread

You guys know Bob Ross, right? He used to make those "unicorn-pink-sunsets" with "happy little trees", which were absolutely hideous. This guy's parody of his show is absolutely hilarious:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lurt5Fosd ... re=related

[inkinthewell]

http://www.angryalien.com/aa/brokebackbuns.asp

[E.T.]

this is a story I heard yesterday.

A cat was pregnant.
The owner decided to let a cat have an abortion.
He had been divorced. Mother took over all their children. He took over a cat.
He sent a mail to his daughter : "I'll let my cat have an abortion tomorrow."
His daughter felt sorry about a cat.

Next day, she got a mail from her father : " She laid kittens."

then she talked with him, he said "I'll take them to the public health center. "

Next day, she got a mail again : "But they are awesome cute!"

I hope he will take care of kittens.

[sisterlondon]

The new Sweet Billy Pilgrim blog on myspace... for obvious reasons! (gotta adore Tim!)

[godisinthesilences]

silly people who play mind games at work... they make me pee myself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all!

[Antinous]

E.T., that's such a cute story My cat was spayed two days ago, she hates me to death.

[E.T.]

I don't think so Antinous... She sprayed because she loves you.
(my cat did it, and I know he loves me, but my cat was boy)
she wants to conquer you, I guess.

[Pocket Dragon]

I don't think so Antinous... She sprayed because she loves you.
(my cat did it, and I know he loves me, but my cat was boy)
she wants to conquer you, I guess.

Wahahah!!

Antinous said SPAYED. That means neutered!

[E.T.]

oh really?
I didn't know the word "SPAYED". hm. so I become wiser than before...
Thanks Pocket Dragon
and I could make you laugh today, yey!

Anyway Antinous, she will understand you

[E.T.]

er... I made you laugh yesterday?

[Pocket Dragon]

er... I made you laugh yesterday?

You made me laugh my friend

[Tarka]

I was just feeling a bit fed up as nothing really made me laugh today....then I read the 'Disorder in Court' thread.....

I'm still crying with laughter - thats one for the office tomorrow, thanks for that Pocket Dragon, thats one of the best things I've seen in AGES!!!

[Pocket Dragon]

Glad you like it Tarka! Take this into work with you tomorrow while you're at it..

One point office dares
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
7) Leave your zip open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
10) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Three point office dares...
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Don't use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Five point office dares...
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
20)Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.
21)Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points