What's going on with you?

Off-topic area for general discussion of NON-Japan/Sylvian related subjects.

What's going on with you?

Postby kinki on Fri May 26, 2006 4:56 am

OK, following on from Poisoned Apathy's post about not knowing what to do with her life, I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread where people could offload their worries.....
Last edited by kinki on Fri May 26, 2006 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby krausy on Fri May 26, 2006 8:57 am

Good idea Kinki!!!

I guess the things that disturb me the most these days is the fact that I am getting older and somedays I feel it. I also worry about my inherited risks of disease like Heart disease and diabetes and I try everyday to do things to try to "change the course of history" so to speak. Rest assured I have not been diagnosed with anything other than borderline high blood pressure, but my plan is to NOT be diagnosed with anything. I won't say it is an easy task to do what is necessary especially when it comes to meals, etc. Knowing what to eat and actually eating it is another matter!!! :lol:

I've also had a hard time in the last couple years seeing my parents grow old and pass away. I lost my Dad in 2004 and I miss him, but he was 81 when he died and it was hard to see his frustration with getting old and not being able to do the things he always could do.
My Mum will be 84 next week on June 2nd. She is currently in nursing care (luckily in a facility less than a block from my home) and is doing waaay better now. I promised her she could live independently as long as she could but we had to make other arrangements this past January. It is also difficult to see her deteriorate mentally and physically as she was the best Mum one could ever have. She was always a stay-at-home Mum and I love her for that. She lived for her family and still does and you rarely find her without a smile on her face.

I guess I am basically upset about things I cannot change and I guess I should remember the Serenity prayer at this moment.
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Postby kinki on Fri May 26, 2006 3:54 pm

Hey *hugs Anne*.....my Mum died in January - it's hard when you lose a parent - the one you have left you want to wrap in cotton wool...I hope your Mum will be OK...I miss mine but I really do take comfort from the fact she aint suffering any more...

We all worry about getting older - it sounds funny but all this Japan talk reminds me just HOW long ago all that happened and makes me realise I'm not 21 any more...(Im still 21 in my head though :wink: )

But the way I look at it is - as long as you look after your health, and get known inherited stuff (like diabetes/blood pressure/heart disease etc) checked out from time to time, you have a fighting chance of staying out of trouble...

What's the serenity prayer by the way?
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Postby John Trevethan on Fri May 26, 2006 4:51 pm

kinki wrote:Hey *hugs Anne*.....my Mum died in January - it's hard when you lose a parent - the one you have left you want to wrap in cotton wool...I hope your Mum will be OK...I miss mine but I really do take comfort from the fact she aint suffering any more...


We appear to have loads of common ground in this thread... I lost both of my parents last summer. My mom had suffered with a myriad of problems for over 30 years, and been at death's door on many occasions so it wasn't totally unexpected. However, 40 days after my mother's death my father dropped dead in his kitchen one morning. Everyone thought that he was in perfect health, including his doctor!

On the negative side this made me realize that our existence is pure chaos... anything can happen at any moment. An obvious statement, however we do tend to take things for granted such as always having our parents around.

On the positive side I now have a much clearer vision of "living in the moment". I savor the smallest of things such as eating breakfast with my children, really noticing nature, taking time to look up and appreciate the stars at night, etc.

kinki wrote:We all worry about getting older - it sounds funny but all this Japan talk reminds me just HOW long ago all that happened and makes me realise I'm not 21 any more...(Im still 21 in my head though :wink: )


I have had this same thought many times as I have gotten older. I used to wonder (but was afraid to ask) if someone in their 70's and 80's still felt young inside their mind. I figured "No, they must feel old because the alternative is a too cruel to handle." Unfortunately I fear this may not be the case. Now that I'm pushing up on 50 in a few years I find that I still feel like I'm 21 (maybe even eighteen) in my mind. Then I look in the mirror and realize the truth...

I don't mean to end this on a sour note, so I'll mention that life is actually quite good at the moment. (And even a little better still since this forum has come together.) :-)
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Postby kinki on Fri May 26, 2006 5:02 pm

Im tempted (in my post wine state) to do the old 'your my best friends' lark...and hug everyone, but I hardly know you (oooofff!)...

Oh b*gger it......YOU LOT ARE GREAT and Im so glad we've all met (sort of! :wink: )...

So sorry to hear about your folks John.....but like you, losing my Mum has also made ME savour life more and value the smallest moments...and I've to thank her for that...I see it as her parting gift to me.

It is a bit of a cruel joke that as you get older your body ages but often your mind doesnt, and really you actually still feel like an 18 year old in your head. And yes you do look in the mirror and wish (well I do) that you had enough squirrelled away for a face lift. But if you can accept all this and live in the moment, learn to love yourself and ignore what others think about you, you've a half decent chance of being half way happy in this life....
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Postby Poisoned_Apathy on Fri May 26, 2006 6:30 pm

I'm very sorry for you guys...The only idea of loosing my parents makes me tremble :? I lost my grandma a few years ago and I couldn't stand watching my mother crying like that but I'm glad you all took some positive views about it.

John Trevethan wrote:On the negative side this made me realize that our existence is pure chaos... anything can happen at any moment. An obvious statement, however we do tend to take things for granted such as always having our parents around.


Yes, that's why future scares me a little. Though , because of the kind people on this forum I'll try not to be so hurry [though my parents always tell me that].
Today has happened a thing that has made me think a little. I've met an old school classmate at College. I think I haven't seen her for 6 years at least!! She has told me that this was her first year at college , that she has been wasting her time during the last few years...And I've just told her that maybe it wasn't her moment til now...
Well, I have enough time to think and reflect about what I want to do after college. Til that day, I'll try to enjoy my time at university.
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Postby kinki on Fri May 26, 2006 6:55 pm

You do that! You enjoy yourself - and enjoy having your mum and dad around.... :)
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Postby krausy on Sat May 27, 2006 9:02 pm

kinki wrote:Hey *hugs Anne*.....my Mum died in January - it's hard when you lose a parent - the one you have left you want to wrap in cotton wool...I hope your Mum will be OK...I miss mine but I really do take comfort from the fact she aint suffering any more...

We all worry about getting older - it sounds funny but all this Japan talk reminds me just HOW long ago all that happened and makes me realise I'm not 21 any more...(Im still 21 in my head though :wink: )

But the way I look at it is - as long as you look after your health, and get known inherited stuff (like diabetes/blood pressure/heart disease etc) checked out from time to time, you have a fighting chance of staying out of trouble...

What's the serenity prayer by the way?


This is the serenity prayer as I know it: Help me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I know a lot of support groups use this as an opening or closing thing to share with everyone present.
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Postby krausy on Sat May 27, 2006 9:12 pm

I'm also sorry to hear about everyone else's losses, and it is sooo true about living for the moment, and not taking anything for granted. I love the stars at night, and a beautiful sunset---I make the time to enjoy it, even if I am at work and busy---If I walk outside the office and see one, I stand there and watch it. Mum always made me look at sunsets when I was growing up, and it may have been a pain then, but she taught me an appreciation for the beauty in nature and the world.

I am also happy to hear that this forum is a bright spot in your world John. It certainly is a bright spot in mine, as i adore coming here every day, to catch up with all of you and feast on the eye candy in the photo sections..........

I must also admit the band, collectively and separately are a bright spot in my life as well. More than once their "gifts" have turned tears to smiles. Of course music has always done that for me---either cheered me up or helped me deal with difficult issues.
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Postby godisinthesilences on Sat May 27, 2006 11:35 pm

I have the Serenity Prayer hanging in my office.... I look at it whenever i'm feeling stressed out and frustrated.

I think we all go through equal amounts of crap in our lives.... of course some is worse to us than others, however we all are given nothing more than we can endure. Even if we feel we will give up and not be able to go on.... somehow we do. It may take weeks, months or even years to gather our courage back up to go on but we all seem to do it.

It makes me want to weep when I think of this prayer and all the inaction for good in the world....
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Postby kinki on Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:21 am

Bugger bugger bugger - just to say sorry I've not been saying much today/yesterday - im just so busy at work it's crazy!

There's so much I want to say - and no time to say it! Fook!!!

hopefully catch up in the next couple of days.....

:D

Hey look at it this way - Krausy or Gods might bag the top posting spot this week at this rate!!!
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Postby godisinthesilences on Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:44 am

I was actually wondering that myself Kink.... no worries I'm thinking about taking a week off from all electronic stuff next week. No tv, no radio, no computer. I need a serenity break.
However, i have a big solo show coming up in august and sadly everything for it is digital print out. So, perhaps I won't be able to give up all electric stuff.
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Postby sheisnot on Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:30 pm

Hearing about people losing their parents frightens me. My parents are kinda sorta thinking about divorce right now and are both acting really weird, so much so that I don't talk to them very much at the moment. Maybe I could put up with a little more of their weirdness and just deal with it because I'm lucky to still have them? Yeah?

I've been sick with a sinus infection and a rash for over a week. The steroids they gave me to deal with the rash got rid of it but didn't help my infection very much (steroids weaken your immune system). Well, now that the round of steroids is done and my antibiotics are finally able to make some headway with the infection, guess what happened today? The rash is back. My face is itchy and a little red again. I just want to cry.

I'm supposed to be saving up money for a trip to Amsterdam next year and ever since I decided I was going, it's been one thing after another to keep me from saving that money: car repairs three months in a row, a visit to the emergency room because I nearly ripped my fingernail off, doctor visits, not to mention that the cost of living in New Orleans is WAY higher since Katrina. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

Okay, I'm done. Rant over.
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Postby sheisnot on Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:32 pm

Damn, I just wrote all that, clicked submit, read through it all, and then noticed my SIGNATURE at the bottom, straight from the Man's mouth. In case you can't tell, I am rolling my eyes at my silly self.
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Postby godisinthesilences on Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:40 pm

aw sweetie.... we all have moments where we need to vent our emotions. What is important is that we don't let the emotional self take over the instinctual self.
Just a thought.... have they (the drs) considered that it might be the antibiotics giving you the rash??? Sinus infections suck big time! I get one at least once a year. I'm actually allergic to some antibiotics myself.
Hope you feel better soon :-)
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